As I sit in Starbucks this Valentine’s Day morning and begin to write this blog for the 100th time, I keep pausing because this day has so many meanings depending on where you are in your life. I wanted to choose my words carefully as writing about “Love” can create a lot of emotion for people, but I am going to be me and put my words on paper.
My feelings about Valentine’s Day has changed over the years. I have spent a lot of time this month thinking about love, writing about love, talking to people about love, working with my clients on relationships, and observing all types of love around me.
If you are happily married, celebrate today as you have put the hard work into your marriage to have a loving and happy marriage. I know the journey has not been easy and you may not have always been in love with your spouse every day, but you keep putting in the work to stay in a loving and healthy marriage.
If you are not happily married or not in a happy relationship, today may be a day that you dread as you feel compelled to get something for your partner because of all the hype about Valentine’s Day but you are not feeling the love for your partner and your love tank is running on fumes. How do you walk into a store and look at cards with all the mushy writing inside and pick one to give, if you don’t really mean those words? Maybe you tell yourself, that today will be different, and your partner will come through and make you feel loved today, only to be disappointed again when your dreams are shattered.
If you’re single, this is a day I know so many dread. It is a day that you may not feel loved because you don’t have a partner. It is a day that you see candy, flowers, hearts, gifts, cards, jewelry and couples walking hand-hand looking all googly-eyed at each other. Yuck! (but deep down we want that).
I have been in every one of these scenarios on this day…. single, in an unhappy relationship and happily married. I would like to share is my feeling on Love.
Love is described as a “feeling” but to me love is demonstrating to someone that they matter to you. Telling someone “I love you” seems to be said with such ease these days, but demonstrating to someone they are loved, is the part that takes time, thought and effort. The love you receive but most especially, the love you give is what matters today.
I would like to put this day in a little perspective as Valentine's Day has become a multi-billion-dollar industry that we get “sucked” into every year, but it means so much more to some people.
Today someone is having life-saving surgery.
Today someone is saying goodbye to a loved one.
Today is the 1 year anniversary a gunman opened fire at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, killing seventeen students and staff members and injuring seventeen others.
Today families are grieving for their loved ones.
Today someone was diagnosed with Cancer.
For this Valentine’s Day, I ask that you give the experience of love by demonstrating love. Do something today that makes someone feel loved. It doesn’t have to be a huge, even a simple text to someone to let them know you were thinking of them and they are loved. Real connection doesn’t cost a thing. It doesn’t matter if you are in a happy marriage, unhappy relationship or single, demonstrating kindness and love will fill your love tank.
Remember to demonstrate your love not only today, but the other 364 days of year too!
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